Love Conquers All

It's the law of the land, now: marriage is a right for all, not just a privilege of heterosexual people.

Today, the U.S. Supreme Court made it clear in a 5-4 decision that banning a couple from marrying purely because their genitals match is the absolute bollocks that we've all known it as.  As a lesbian, this means a lot.  As a kid, I always said that "I don't ever want to get married." What I meant but didn't feel free to say at the time was "I don't ever want to get married to a man."  SCOTUS has now ruled that I can marry a woman instead, no matter what state I live in, and every other state in the country must recognize it.  That's huge.

Besides the obvious squeeing because equal rights fucking finally, I'd also like to take this time to assuage the right-wing butthurt out there of what marriage equality does and doesn't mean:

1) No, you will not be required to host a same-sex wedding in your church.

I know the very idea may blow your mind to itty bitty pieces, but churches are not a requirement of legal marriage, and there are a fuckton of people who get married every day without ever setting foot in one.  Marriage equality is referring specifically to having the law recognize a couple as married.  What the decision requires is for every court in every county in every state in the country to issue a marriage license regardless of the couple's sex, and for every other court in every other county in every other state in the country to acknowledge that the couple is married, regardless of the couple's sex.

2) No, you can't marry dogs and children.

In order to legally marry, both parties must be legally elligible to enter a contract.  Meaning that both must be of consenting age (minimum varies by state, and requires parental consent/witness if a minor), and must be of sound mind (basically the rules of elligibility for entering a contract, period).  Children and dogs fulfill neither of these requirements, ergo nobody can marry them.

3) No, this decision does not legalize incest.

Here's the part where that whole "equal protection" thing comes into play.  Incest prohibitions treat everybody equally.  If you are prohibited from marrying because of incest, it doesn't matter who you are.  What makes it discrimination is when the rule only applies to some people but not to others.

Saying you can't marry your sister is like saying you can't buy a ham sandwich at a kosher deli.  Nobody can marry their sister, and nobody can buy a ham sandwich at a kosher deli.  If nobody can do it, it's not discrimination, purely because the rule applies to everyone.  Ergo, that law isn't going away anytime soon (nevermind that incestuous relationships are inherently non-consensual, so you're not even comparing apples to other fruit, here).

In the case of same-sex marriage, what makes it discrimination is the denial of a marriage license that would otherwise be granted if the exact same couple was heterosexual.

And now for the more fun part.  What this ruling does mean is that gay couples now receive the same benefits that straight ones do.  Here are just a few of those benefits, and the ramifications of more people having them:

- Next-of-kin rights.  Previously, if one half of a gay couple suffered an illness or injury that rendered them comatose, unless they had an advanced directive written out, their partner did not have the right to make a medical decision such as pulling them off a respirator.  What this meant is that the family who kicked them out of the house for being gay could now force them to live as a vegetable, even when their partner of 30+ years knows they wouldn't have wanted such a thing.  And if the injured/ill half of the couple landed in ICU, the partner of 30+ years wouldn't even be allowed to visit them.

Now that gay couples can marry, you don't have this problem.  The person who ideally knows them best -- the person they vowed to spend the rest of their life with -- can step in and make the decision they know is right.

- Immigration.  Gay couples wherein one party is a U.S. citizen now have an avenue for gaining permanent resident or citizenship status for the other half, since they can now marry.

- Joint tax filing.  Gay couples can now file a joint tax return and enjoy all the tax breaks straight couples get.  This means gay couples can improve their financial station by tying the knot, which means economic stimulus since they'll have more money than they did while single.

- Spousal privilege in court. Communication between spouses is inadmissible in criminal and civil court proceedings.

And that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Bottom line is that history got made today, and lots of lives are being made better for it.  The tide has turned.  It's not going back.  You can either swim with it or drown, and frankly we're too busy picking out china patterns to care which one you choose.