Alan Chambers, head of the defunct-as-of-four-hours-ago "reparative therapy" organization Exodus International, has effectively said this shit was a bad idea and is closing down the entire operation.
In case you're not familiar with the term, "reparative therapy" is a thoroughly misleading moniker describing the various psychological tortures used to try and "cure" homosexuality. In the sense that "cure" means "hate yourself until you can't get it up anymore."
Today, Chambers not only announced the dissolution of the organization, but posted an apology to the LBGT community on the organization's website. And not one of those dickish I'm-not-really-sorry-but-I-don't-want-to-be-seen-as-an-asshole apologies, either. A genuine "I fucked up royally, I'm sorry, this shit stops now, and while I hope you'll forgive me I don't really expect you to."
It is all too tempting for us Not Straight people and our allies to be gleeful. I freely admit, I did a fist pump and cackled when I read the headline. But then I read the apology, and I was no longer laughing and jubilant.
See, Chambers himself is gay. Chambers is a gay man who subjected himself to this very same "therapy" in an effort to "fix" his attraction to men. And he finally realized that not only did it not work, but it made him feel like shit. And then he realized just how many other people his organization had put through this same hell on earth, and had an epiphany. An awful epiphany that probably made him feel even worse (and rightly so).
This is not something to be gleeful about. This is not something to be smug and greater-than-ye about. This is not the time for a petty I-told-you-so no matter how good it would feel to say it.
Because this guy is one of us.
It's easy to feel superior if you've never grown up Not Straight in a very conservative household. It's easy to say "wow, the dumbfuck finally got it, shame it took so long." But the reason that's easy is because not growing up with that baggage affords you the privilege of being an outsider. It affords you a clear head.
For those of us who have grown up as such, it's a different ballgame. You are conditioned from a very young age to hate not just that one aspect of yourself, but the entire package because of it. You are made to feel it's a choice even when you know it isn't. You hate yourself because that's the only way you're accepted by your family, and as a teenager you're fucking terrified of getting disowned. You will, quite literally, do anything to resolve this conflict. And the easiest thing at that time is to just stop being Not Straight. You can't hate yourself if you are not the thing you're raised to hate, after all.
It can and does frequently take people half a lifetime to figure out that the path of least resistance only works for electrons. Some never do. And when you do finally realize it with the knowledge that there's a whole shitload of people mad at you, it really does take the courage of a comic book hero to stand up and say "wow, did I ever fuck up. I'm so, so sorry."
Alan Chambers did just that. He faced the anger of both his own organization and the LGBT community and said "fuck it, this isn't working, I'm done, and I'm sorry."
If we want more Christians like him, we can't be smug. We can't sink to our base emotions and point and laugh. We have to show them this is right, and to do so we have to be the bigger people and say "hey, better late than never."
We don't have to forgive them for the pain they've caused. But we do have to meet their decision and their change of heart with the support and kindness we want to see in them now. Not derision and mockery.
Me? I get him. I grew up with the same baggage and no matter how much I think I've conquered it, some days I still lug it around like ten-tonne shackles because that kind of programming is exceedingly difficult to even erase, nevermind rewrite. This is a guy who is a decade my senior and is just now attempting to take those shackles off.
So yes, better late than never, Mr. Chambers. You're on the right track. Just keep going.
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